Thursday, October 12, 2017

First Chemotherapy Session


I just finished my first chemotherapy treatment today!

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

I covered my hair because I looked like 1/3 of Tina Turner without the wax :))

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

This was how it looked like.. 

2 different medicines, 1 hour of drip each.

But the whole process took 6 hours.

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

My biggest inspiration of a friend was there with us all throughout..

Helping us distract me from all the pain!

You see.. aside from the normal drip pain..
The first nurse did not insert the needle right.
It was in me for 30 minutes until I could no longer take it.
Another nurse had to remove it and poke me once again.

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

I have always been so scared of needles, and that was really traumatic.
I left with an unnecessary swollen bruise.

But I am home.. slightly giddy for now :)

1 down, 3 more to go!

The next treatment is after 21 days.

Meanwhile..

Happiest Baby I Love

My baby love is having fun with my sister's family..

Baby in Taekwondo

Watching his cousins at their Taekwondo class..


And wanting to join them! :)

Thank you Lord for our very loving family and friends!

---------------


Sunday, October 8, 2017

So Long.. Hair..


The first thing my Oncologist told me was..

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

"For breast cancer, it's total hair loss.. "

I thought I was already prepared for it..

But tears still.. 
I still cried..

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

I've always had long hair.. almost never had short hair..
and never used to.. 

No hair.

But what bothered me the most was when she said..

"After chemo, your new hair would be curly and coarse.."

Seriously?!

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

Anyway, I decided to cut my hair in preparation.

Chemo can take away what's left..

But it can no longer break me down!
(I hope and pray)

I'm ready! 
And so are my headscarves and wigs!

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

Though I still get shocked every time I pass by a glass or mirror nowadays.. 
Because I just couldn't find myself..

Because boy.. I look like a boy right now!


*Thank you Sherick, Bea and Dean for keeping me sane at the salon*

------------

Friday, October 6, 2017

Letter No. 30 - Our Strength


Dear Lance,

Below is a Bible verse Mommy always sang when she was as a kid:

Bedtime Stories with Baby, Mommy, Daddy

"Philippians 4:13 - He gives me strength.. Yes, He gives me strength..
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!"

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

Please keep it in your heart :)

Playtime with Baby, Daddy

YOU are the strength God has given Daddy and Mommy..

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

And we live everyday knowing how much God loves us..

Playtime with Baby, Daddy, Pillowcase

Just by looking at you!

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

We love you so much, our Oli :)

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

----------

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Bacharach and My Baby


Just 3 months ago..

Bacharach, Germany

This little town of Bacharach in Germany hosted our romantic dates.


So lovely.. We could have named our baby made in Bacharach,

Bacharach, Germany

Bacharach.. If only it sounded more human :)

Bacharach, Germany

We brought home some joyful news.. 
Albeit.. short-lived.

-------------

"You have to abort your baby." 
The most painful words I have ever been told.

My cancer cells are Grade 3, and positive on estrogen and progesterone receptors.
They were feeding on my pregnancy hormones, and growing very fast.

Our baby was not at risk. I was. 
Even with the treatments, I could die.

"Do it for the sake of your son, and your husband."

"We can do it 2 days from now, because tomorrow is Sunday. The hospital is closed tomorrow."

Our angel was 12.5 weeks old in me.

---------------

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Peace of Mind


A week ago.. I wrote my feelings down.. 
Because it was the only way I could stop myself from crying all day long..

I did not expect.. at all.. 
To receive so much love and support from family, friends, and even strangers..

Thank you.. and thank you for all your prayers.


I just had my surgery yesterday. 
Tumor is out. Lymph nodes are clear. No sign of distant spreading.
I am home.

God is with us.. and God is great!

And to answer some common questions..

No, I did not have my whole breast removed. I only had a lumpectomy. 
It's Stage 2. And I found out because I felt a lump on my breast, and had it checked.

Chemo therapy will start weeks from now. Followed by Radiation therapy.

It's a long road ahead for me.. but this journey will not be forever. 
At the end of it all.. tell me..
Where should we go on a long holiday with our little boy?
#motivation


References: 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Hey, Cancer


You just forced me to let go of my healthy, beautiful baby.

I am going to kill you.

I will kill you.


-----

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Goodbye, My Child..


Tomorrow, I am sending you back to heaven..
I am sorry I could not hold you..
 I want to but I couldn't..

Maybe someday..
Maybe.. God will send you back to us..

Your brother, Lance, will be waiting here..
Your daddy, too..
Know that we love you..
We will miss you..

I love you..

Love,
Mommy


-----

Hey, Cancer



Friday, August 11, 2017

Charmed by a Day in Colmar, France


I never thought I'd get here one day..

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

But Colmar in the Alsace Region of France..

Things to see in Colmar, Alsace, France

Is one of the prettiest dreams..

Things to see in Colmar, France

That could ever come true.

Things to see in Colmar, France

It was like being transported..

Things to see in Colmar, France

To a different era..

Things to do in Colmar, Alsace, France

Or to an old movie scene.

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

And the French seriously know..

Things to see in Colmar, France

How to beautify everything..

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

From canals with flowers..

Things to do in Colmar, Alsace, France

Horses' headbands?..

Things to see in Colmar, France

To just about anything!

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

How can you not fall in love?


*One day is enough for Colmar, Alsace, France*

Monday, July 17, 2017

Letter No. 29 - Kiss My Chubby Foot


Dear Lance,

Your feet are sooo cute..

Baby Nemo Swimming Pool

They make us gigil..

Daddy and Mommy can't get enough of them!

Baby in Carter's Pajama Kissed by Mommy

"Can I kiss your foot?"

Mmmwwaahh! 

Modern Twist Baby Foot Kisses

"Can I kiss your foot?"

We just couldn't stop it!

Carter's Baby Foot Kisses

But then.. we forgot to tell you..

Godfather Baby Foot Kisses

And now you have been offering your foot..

To greet EVERYONE you meet!

(neighbours in the lift, taxi drivers, security guards, friends, family, strangers everywhere)

Gap Baby Asking for his foot to be kissed

And they often wonder why?

Kiss my foot friend baby

Baby, it's really funny!

But though we cherish all those moments..

Daddy kiss my chubby foot

We are now constantly whispering to you..

That your chubby feet are only for Daddy and Mommy to kiss :)

Loving you so much,
Daddy and Mommy


---------------------------

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Letter No. 28 - Singapore ArtScience Museum


Dear Lance,

We brought you to the Singapore ArtScience Museum last Saturday..


To the exhibit called: Future World - Where Art Meets Science..

And you had an amazing time exploring!

Watch the video to see what you saw..

Love,
Mommy

---------------------------
References:

Location: Marina Bay Sands, Singapore

Letter No. 29 - Kiss My Chubby Foot

Monday, June 5, 2017

Iguazu Falls, Brazil


Devil's Throat, Iguazu Falls, Brazil

So beautiful.. and we missed the Iguazu Falls the first time we came to Brazil!

Devil's Throat, Iguazu Falls, Brazil / Argentina
From the Helicopter

If you get the chance.. make it a priority when you visit South America..

Be it in Brazil or Argentina!

Devil's Throat, Iguazu Falls, Brazil

It is one of the greatest natural wonders of the world for all the right reasons.

Iguassu Falls, Brazil

Spectacular, magnificent, and all their synonyms..

The Iguazu Falls is to me.. without exaggeration!

Iguacu Falls, Brazil / Argentina
From the Helicopter

The pictures you see.. mine or on Google.. could never do justice to its grandeur.

Iguassu Falls, Brasil

So write it down on your bucket list!

* If the weather is good, one day is enough (Brazil Side) *
* Iguazu, Iguassu, Iguacu.. They're all the same *

(We did not go to the Argentina Side of the Iguazu Falls because we needed a Visa to Argentina)

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Letter No. 27 - No Bad Weather Days For You


Dear Lance,

Whenever the weather is not good for you..
We cannot bring you to the park or zoo..


But then you need a place to run around..
So here is one of the places we have found..

(Watch the video to see your typical play time at the indoor playground)

Rainy.. but you are happy!

Love,
Mommy

---------------------------
References:

Location: Polliwogs, Suntec City Mall, Singapore

Letter No. 26 - Friends Mommy Chose For You

Monday, May 22, 2017

Feeding Babies


On breastfeeding my 15-month-old toddler:

Baby Lance with his Polar Bear and Dinosaur from Ikea

Nursing a human baby on the right.. 
Nursing a polar bear and a dinosaur on the left..

Because they must feed together!

-MomMi Corner-

Sunday, May 21, 2017

MomMi Corner


I meet new people..
They ask me..
What do you do?

(I pinch myself)
Of that child in blue..

Am I really a mother?
I always question..
The things I do..

Is this how?
Is this right?
I have no clue..

I am a mother..

At Monterey Bay, California

I think and think.. These thoughts run through..
So I created a little space.. To park some or a few..
Just a little corner.. Just for me..
Of days when I step on a Lego Kitty..
Of days when I long to be just Mi..