Sunday, January 7, 2018

Beginning 2018..

Counting my blessings over and over..

Breast Cancer Survivor Singapore

My reality..

And all I'll ever need :)

*Candid Shot*
*First family picture for 2018, taken only today, as we kept forgetting*


Saturday, December 16, 2017

Last Chemo, Yesterday :)

And Lord.. Please let it be my last chemo, forever! Thank you, Lord!

Date Night at Lawry's Prime Ribs Singapore

Before chemo days.. we go out on dates..

Because cancer has reminded us to always cherish the time we have..

And because nothing tastes good the next 12 days after chemo!

Last Chemo Therapy Session at NUH for Breast Cancer

Side effects are on.. faster this time..

But I am glad this stage is almost over!

We are now looking forward to our wedding anniversary, my birthday, christmas at the beach with our younger sisters and of course, Lance, and our happy new year! :)

Radiation Therapy will start on the 4th week of January..


Saturday, December 9, 2017

Sometimes.. Hairstyle

From my precious.. Gollum hair..

Best Wigs for Cancer

To my dream hair come true!

Never knew being bald could be this fun :)

Thank you, Jobelle. I love you!


Thursday, December 7, 2017

Letter No. 31 - Despite Everything

Dear Lance,

Mommy is temporarily unwell..

Trick Eye Museum Big Fish Singapore

But people often ask me..

"How do you stay happy despite everything?"

Toddler Activities Water Play Balcony

How do I.. ?

You see.. I love you so much.

Toddler Tennis Racket and Ball

When I was sad.. 

You felt it.. You knew.

Toddler Little Tikes Red Yellow Car

You would wipe my tears..

That's Not My Tiger

And you would suddenly dance to cheer me up.

Lance Happy with Grandma
With Gua-Ma

I love you so much..

And I wanted you to stop seeing me sad..

Toddler happy with Ikea dollhouse and jeep

Because despite everything that happened..

I still have you.

Lance at Smiggle Store Singapore

And you..

You are my everything.

Toddler Activities Water Play Balcony Foam Letters

You deserve a happy Mommy..

Starry Starry Night Trick Eye Museum Singapore

And that's what I will always strive to be.



Sunday, November 26, 2017

3 / 4 .. Carpe Diem!

3rd chemo session done last Friday..

Merlion Park, Singapore

My life may have paused.. but it never stopped!

Ce La Vi, Marina Bay Sands Skypark, Singapore

So much love has flown to us..

Marina Bay Sands, Singapore

Nothing hinders.. 

We continue to seize our beautiful days!


Friday, November 3, 2017

2 Down.. 2 To Go!

Second chemotherapy session done today!

Breast Cancer Second Chemotherapy Session

And because I had so much free time while on drip..

Christmas holiday also booked today! :)


I am giddier this time.. But still eating a lot..
Hopefully the next few days would not be so bad..
Because God answers prayers! :)


Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Hair Shower Party

It is the 12th day.

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer


My hair has started shedding.

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer

But this is just cancer.

I am still beautiful.
(I have to remind myself that!)

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer

Bea, and everyone.. Thank you.

A party for having cancer.. 

A Hair Shower.

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer

You have created a very touching moment out of pain.

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer

For seeing in me what I could not see in myself..

Hair Shower Party for Breast Cancer

I know it's all about love.

*A Hair Shower is like a Baby Shower, but friends give you hair stuff*


Thursday, October 12, 2017

First Chemotherapy Session

I just finished my first chemotherapy treatment today!

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

I covered my hair because I looked like 1/3 of Tina Turner without the wax :))

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

This was how it looked like.. 

2 different medicines, 1 hour of drip each.

But the whole process took 6 hours.

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

My biggest inspiration of a friend was there with us all throughout..

Helping us distract me from all the pain!

You see.. aside from the normal drip pain..
The first nurse did not insert the needle right.
It was in me for 30 minutes until I could no longer take it.
Another nurse had to remove it and poke me once again.

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

I have always been so scared of needles, and that was really traumatic.
I left with an unnecessary swollen bruise.

But I am home.. slightly giddy for now :)

1 down, 3 more to go!

The next treatment is after 21 days.


Happiest Baby I Love

My baby love is having fun with my sister's family..

Baby in Taekwondo

Watching his cousins at their Taekwondo class..

And wanting to join them! :)

Thank you Lord for our very loving family and friends!


Sunday, October 8, 2017

So Long.. Hair..

The first thing my Oncologist told me was..

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

"For breast cancer, it's total hair loss.. "

I thought I was already prepared for it..

But tears still.. 
I still cried..

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

I've always had long hair.. almost never had short hair..
and never used to.. 

No hair.

But what bothered me the most was when she said..

"After chemo, your new hair would be curly and coarse.."


Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

Anyway, I decided to cut my hair in preparation.

Chemo can take away what's left..

But it can no longer break me down!
(I hope and pray)

I'm ready! 
And so are my headscarves and wigs!

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

Though I still get shocked every time I pass by a glass or mirror nowadays.. 
Because I just couldn't find myself..

Because boy.. I look like a boy right now!

*Thank you Sherick, Bea and Dean for keeping me sane at the salon*


Friday, October 6, 2017

Letter No. 30 - Our Strength

Dear Lance,

Below is a Bible verse Mommy always sang when she was as a kid:

Bedtime Stories with Baby, Mommy, Daddy

"Philippians 4:13 - He gives me strength.. Yes, He gives me strength..
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!"

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

Please keep it in your heart :)

Playtime with Baby, Daddy

YOU are the strength God has given Daddy and Mommy..

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

And we live everyday knowing how much God loves us..

Playtime with Baby, Daddy, Pillowcase

Just by looking at you!

Playtime with Baby, Mommy

We love you so much, our Oli :)

Daddy and Mommy


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Bacharach and My Baby

Just 3 months ago..

Bacharach, Germany

This little town of Bacharach in Germany hosted our romantic dates.

So lovely.. We could have named our baby made in Bacharach,

Bacharach, Germany

Bacharach.. If only it sounded more human :)

Bacharach, Germany

We brought home some joyful news.. 
Albeit.. short-lived.


"You have to abort your baby." 
The most painful words I have ever been told.

My cancer cells are Grade 3, and positive on estrogen and progesterone receptors.
They were feeding on my pregnancy hormones, and growing very fast.

Our baby was not at risk. I was. 
Even with the treatments, I could die.

"Do it for the sake of your son, and your husband."

"We can do it 2 days from now, because tomorrow is Sunday. The hospital is closed tomorrow."

Our angel was 12.5 weeks old in me.


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Peace of Mind

A week ago.. I wrote my feelings down.. 
Because it was the only way I could stop myself from crying all day long..

I did not expect.. at all.. 
To receive so much love and support from family, friends, and even strangers..

Thank you.. and thank you for all your prayers.

I just had my surgery yesterday. 
Tumor is out. Lymph nodes are clear. No sign of distant spreading.
I am home.

God is with us.. and God is great!

And to answer some common questions..

No, I did not have my whole breast removed. I only had a lumpectomy. 
It's Stage 2. And I found out because I felt a lump on my breast, and had it checked.

Chemo therapy will start weeks from now. Followed by Radiation therapy.

It's a long road ahead for me.. but this journey will not be forever. 
At the end of it all.. tell me..
Where should we go on a long holiday with our little boy?


Monday, September 11, 2017

Hey, Cancer

You just forced me to let go of my healthy, beautiful baby.

I am going to kill you.

I will kill you.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

Goodbye, My Child..

Tomorrow, I am sending you back to heaven..
I am sorry I could not hold you..
 I want to but I couldn't..

Maybe someday..
Maybe.. God will send you back to us..

Your brother, Lance, will be waiting here..
Your daddy, too..
Know that we love you..
We will miss you..

I love you..



Hey, Cancer

Friday, August 11, 2017

Charmed by a Day in Colmar, France

I never thought I'd get here one day..

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

But Colmar in the Alsace Region of France..

Things to see in Colmar, Alsace, France

Is one of the prettiest dreams..

Things to see in Colmar, France

That could ever come true.

Things to see in Colmar, France

It was like being transported..

Things to see in Colmar, France

To a different era..

Things to do in Colmar, Alsace, France

Or to an old movie scene.

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

And the French seriously know..

Things to see in Colmar, France

How to beautify everything..

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

From canals with flowers..

Things to do in Colmar, Alsace, France

Horses' headbands?..

Things to see in Colmar, France

To just about anything!

Things to do in Colmar, France - La Petit Venise

How can you not fall in love?

*One day is enough for Colmar, Alsace, France*