Jamie: 2017

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Sometimes.. Hairstyle

From my precious.. Gollum hair..

To my dream hair come true!

Never knew being bald could be this fun :)

Thank you, Jobelle. I love you!

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3 / 4 .. Carpe Diem!

2 down.. 2 To Go!

Letter No. 30 - Our Strength

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Letter No. 31 - Despite Everything

Dear Lance,

Mommy is temporarily unwell..

But people often ask me..

"How do you stay happy despite everything?"

How do I.. ?

You see.. I love you so much.

When I was sad..

You felt it.. You knew.

You would wipe my tears..

And you would suddenly dance to cheer me up.

With Gua-Ma

I love you so much..

And I wanted you to stop seeing me sad..

Toddler happy with Ikea dollhouse and jeep

Because despite everything that happened..

I still have you.

And you..

You are my everything.

Toddler Activities Water Play Balcony Foam Letters

You deserve a happy Mommy..

Starry Starry Night Trick Eye Museum Singapore

And that's what I will always strive to be.

Love,

Mommy

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Letter No. 29 - Kiss My Chubby Foot

Letter No. 28 - Singapore ArtScience Museum

Sunday, November 26, 2017

3 / 4 .. Carpe Diem!

3rd chemo session done last Friday..

My life may have paused.. but it never stopped!

Ce La Vi, Marina Bay Sands Skypark, Singapore

So much love has flown to us..

Nothing hinders..

We continue to seize our beautiful days!

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2 down.. 2 To Go!

Friday, November 3, 2017

2 Down.. 2 To Go!

Second chemotherapy session done today!

Breast Cancer Second Chemotherapy Session

And because I had so much free time while on drip..

Christmas holiday also booked today! :)

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I am giddier this time.. But still eating a lot..

Hopefully the next few days would not be so bad..

Because God answers prayers! :)

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Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Hair Shower Party

It is the 12th day.

Today..

My hair has started shedding.

But this is just cancer.

I am still beautiful.

(I have to remind myself that!)

Bea, and everyone.. Thank you.

A party for having cancer..

A Hair Shower.

You have created a very touching moment out of pain.

For seeing in me what I could not see in myself..

I know it's all about love.

*A Hair Shower is like a Baby Shower, but friends give you hair stuff*

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Thursday, October 12, 2017

First Chemotherapy Session

I just finished my first chemotherapy treatment today!

Breast Cancer First Chemotherapy Treatment Done

I covered my hair because I looked like 1/3 of Tina Turner without the wax :))

This was how it looked like..

2 different medicines, 1 hour of drip each.

But the whole process took 6 hours.

My biggest inspiration of a friend was there with us all throughout..

Helping us distract me from all the pain!

You see.. aside from the normal drip pain..

The first nurse did not insert the needle right.

It was in me for 30 minutes until I could no longer take it.

Another nurse had to remove it and poke me once again.

I have always been so scared of needles, and that was really traumatic.

I left with an unnecessary swollen bruise.

But I am home.. slightly giddy for now :)

1 down, 3 more to go!

The next treatment is after 21 days.

Meanwhile..

My baby love is having fun with my sister's family..

Watching his cousins at their Taekwondo class..

And wanting to join them! :)

Thank you Lord for our very loving family and friends!

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Sunday, October 8, 2017

So Long.. Hair..

The first thing my Oncologist told me was..

Breast Cancer Journey - Haircut Before Hair Loss

"For breast cancer, it's total hair loss.. "

I thought I was already prepared for it..

But tears still..

I still cried..

I've always had long hair.. almost never had short hair..

and never used to..

No hair.

But what bothered me the most was when she said..

"After chemo, your new hair would be curly and coarse.."

Seriously?!

Anyway, I decided to cut my hair in preparation.

Chemo can take away what's left..

But it can no longer break me down!

(I hope and pray)

I'm ready!

And so are my headscarves and wigs!

Though I still get shocked every time I pass by a glass or mirror nowadays..

Because I just couldn't find myself..

Because boy.. I look like a boy right now!

*Thank you Sherick, Bea and Dean for keeping me sane at the salon*

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Letter No. 31 - Despite Everything

Friday, October 6, 2017

Letter No. 30 - Our Strength

Dear Lance,

Below is a Bible verse Mommy always sang when she was as a kid:

"Philippians 4:13 - He gives me strength.. Yes, He gives me strength..

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!"

Please keep it in your heart :)

YOU are the strength God has given Daddy and Mommy..

And we live everyday knowing how much God loves us..

Just by looking at you!

We love you so much, our Oli :)

Love,

Daddy and Mommy

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Letter No. 29 - Kiss My Chubby Foot

Letter No. 28 - Singapore ArtScience Museum

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Bacharach and My Baby

Just 3 months ago..

This little town of Bacharach in Germany hosted our romantic dates.

So lovely.. We could have named our baby made in Bacharach,

Bacharach.. If only it sounded more human :)

We brought home some joyful news..

Albeit.. short-lived.

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"You have to abort your baby."

The most painful words I have ever been told.

My cancer cells are Grade 3, and positive on estrogen and progesterone receptors.

They were feeding on my pregnancy hormones, and growing very fast.

Our baby was not at risk. I was.

Even with the treatments, I could die.

"Do it for the sake of your son, and your husband."

"We can do it 2 days from now, because tomorrow is Sunday. The hospital is closed tomorrow."

Our angel was 12.5 weeks old in me.

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Thursday, September 21, 2017

Peace of Mind

A week ago.. I wrote my feelings down..

Because it was the only way I could stop myself from crying all day long..

I did not expect.. at all..

To receive so much love and support from family, friends, and even strangers..

Thank you.. and thank you for all your prayers.

I just had my surgery yesterday.

Tumor is out. Lymph nodes are clear. No sign of distant spreading.

I am home.

God is with us.. and God is great!

And to answer some common questions..

No, I did not have my whole breast removed. I only had a lumpectomy.

It's Stage 2. And I found out because I felt a lump on my breast, and had it checked.

Chemo therapy will start weeks from now. Followed by Radiation therapy.

It's a long road ahead for me.. but this journey will not be forever.

At the end of it all.. tell me..

Where should we go on a long holiday with our little boy?

#motivation

References:

Monday, September 11, 2017

Hey, Cancer

You just forced me to let go of my healthy, beautiful baby.

I am going to kill you.

I will kill you.

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