Bacharach and My Baby

Just 3 months ago..

This little town of Bacharach in Germany hosted our romantic dates.

So lovely.. We could have named our baby made in Bacharach,

Bacharach.. If only it sounded more human :)

We brought home some joyful news.. 

Albeit.. short-lived.

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"You have to abort your baby." 

The most painful words I have ever been told.

My cancer cells are Grade 3, and positive on estrogen and progesterone receptors.

They were feeding on my pregnancy hormones, and growing very fast.

Our baby was not at risk. I was. 

Even with the treatments, I could die.

"Do it for the sake of your son, and your husband."

"We can do it 2 days from now, because tomorrow is Sunday. The hospital is closed tomorrow."

Our angel was 12.5 weeks old in me.

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Peace of Mind

Hey, Cancer

Goodbye, My Child

Peace of Mind

A week ago.. I wrote my feelings down.. 

Because it was the only way I could stop myself from crying all day long..

I did not expect.. at all.. 

To receive so much love and support from family, friends, and even strangers..

Thank you.. and thank you for all your prayers.

I just had my surgery yesterday. 

Tumor is out. Lymph nodes are clear. No sign of distant spreading.

I am home.

God is with us.. and God is great!

And to answer some common questions..

No, I did not have my whole breast removed. I only had a lumpectomy. 

It's Stage 2. And I found out because I felt a lump on my breast, and had it checked.

Chemo therapy will start weeks from now. Followed by Radiation therapy.

It's a long road ahead for me.. but this journey will not be forever. 

At the end of it all.. tell me..

Where should we go on a long holiday with our little boy?

#motivation

References: 

Hey, Cancer

Goodbye, My Child

Hey, Cancer

You just forced me to let go of my healthy, beautiful baby.

I am going to kill you.

I will kill you.

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Goodbye, My Child

Goodbye, My Child..

Tomorrow, I am sending you back to heaven..

I am sorry I could not hold you..

 I want to but I couldn't..

Maybe someday..

Maybe.. God will send you back to us..

Your brother, Lance, will be waiting here..

Your daddy, too..

Know that we love you..

We will miss you..

I love you..

Love,

Mommy


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Hey, Cancer